“I have to admit, I was skeptical at first. Grief is something that I don’t normally share. Grief tends to knot up in my stomach. My body can’t seem to digest sorrow. I often wondered why I wasn’t able to cry at sad events. Expressing grief or sadness didn’t seem like important evolutionary traits for a man. Rosalyn opened me up to the idea that grief is difficult to process, but un-metabolized grief blocks us from enjoying the beauty and magic of our earthly existence.
I read that Rosalyn held grief rituals. I was interested but did not pursue the idea. However, I was feeling something gnawing in my digestive track. A sadness brought about by the loss of communities during COVID-19. I have spent the last year traveling to 27 countries with only a back pack. It was an adventure of a lifetime and I was on my way home when the pandemic hit.
There was no homecoming party. My Jiu Jitsu community, my dance friends, and the school where I teach were all closed off from me. Like many, I isolated to keep myself and others safe. With no outlets to manage stress or grief, I decided to reach out to Rosalyn to see if her grief ceremony would be able to help me digest the grief stuck in my digestive track. I’m happy to report that it did.
The space
Tucked inside the edge of a redwood forest near the Sonoma coast, Rosalyn has created a magical sacred space for her ritual ceremony. An alter to let things go, an alter for renewed soul and spirit, percussion instruments to release the dark painful points of grief. Sage and rose water touched my skin and helped create a safe place to express sorrow.
Forest creatures
An unexpected and delightful part of this experience was the invitation we offered to the winged and four legged creatures of the forest. Fairies and elves were also invited to bear witness. I added spiders and the animals that I encountered on my recent trip to Africa. They all accepted the invitation. What a party we were having!
Ancestors and loved ones
I was offered the opportunity to invite important people in my life. Those that live and those who have passed all joined. Our ceremony became full of all the important souls in both the physical and spiritual realm.
The ceremony
Meditation-breathing-the sage burning-bells and bowls chimed to prepare me Setting my intentionWhy am I here?The writing prompt
Inviting my younger self, the boy who became a man too early, the inner child with unmet needs took the stage.Rosalyn kept my adult self at bay. “Yes, the ‘adult you’ knows you will be fine.”
Accepting and inviting anger and recognizing that grief follows right behind. Drums and dancingScreaming and rage allowing grief to pass through.Down on all fours digging into the soft soil howling and wailing
Hawk and owl encouraging me to find my voice Spider scurries by as I write, “I love you, Dad.” Quiet again insideSounds of the forest resonate, yet softer.
The mythical creatures nodding in appreciation “well done,” they appear to communicate. Time to rest now.Child’s pose-head on the ground-the hard work is done-Alone time-Rosalyn leaves to wander as I rest in child’s pose. The ground is so nourishing. I added my grief into the soil to be composted. My grief now can be reborn as joy. The redwood roots absorbing my sorrows and turning them into peaceful happiness.
Is it over? Is there anything left? Rosalyn investigates, “is there any residual grief?”Looking down I realize, I wanted to reach out to my mom. I closed my eyes as Rosalyn helped me meet her in the spirit realm. I wanted to grieve with her as well. I wasn’t planning on that one, but it turned out to be very important.
Now, it was time to cross the threshold and sit before the alter of beauty. Grief digested and composted creates beautiful sights and smells. Rose water and flowers greet me again on this side. Lightness and renewed sense of purpose fill my soul and spirit. My consciousness has expanded, but more importantly; my soul and capacity for patience and compassion has expanded as well.
Within a two hour timespan, I have adventured through a profound experience. I metabolized grief stemming from current circumstances and unmet childhood needs. I walked away feeling nourished in body, mind, spirit, and soul. My only wish now is for others to share this experience. The level of grief our world is experiencing is beyond comprehension. Rosalyn and her grief ceremony can help the Earth heal. I am so grateful and honored to have had this experience.