“It was through the dark waters of grief that I came to touch my un-lived life.”
Grief’s Soulful Invitation
Grief’s Soulful Invitation
There is so much grief in the world right now. Layers upon layers. Our grief is palpably heavy and yet, grief has its own beauty and sacred purpose.
We all carry layers of grief ranging from painful childhood experiences to grief from trauma and personal losses, to grief from diverted or shattered dreams, to ancestral grief that’s been passed down to us. Many carry grief about the wars and growing darkness in the world and from the loss of community to hold us in times like these. And, of course there’s the grief that can arise this time of year from the commercialization and materialization of what should be a sacred time.
Anyone who has experienced grief knows its power to instantly strip away all the superficial surface stuff of life that doesn't matter. In grief, we realize that much of what we spend our days focused on is pretty meaningless. In those precious, vulnerable moments, through tear-soaked eyes we see only what matters. Grief says "this person, pet, relationship, etc. really meant something to me." In this way, grief is an expression of how deeply we love and care.
Grief leaves us feeling bare with hearts exposed, and it is precisely that feeling that many avoid at all costs, but when grief hits, it often takes us by surprise knocking us off our feet. All of our defenses, protection and armor dissolve leaving us, perhaps for the first time naked and transparent, as our true selves.
Yes, feeling our pain is incredibly vulnerable, however it is also a rare opportunity to experience ourselves as we authentically are. If we can surrender and say “yes” to this soulful invitation that grief offers, it can take us on a profound journey of healing, self discovery, and a new more humble and open-hearted way of being in the world.
The journey of grief, although painful, can become the dark fertile soil for our spiritual growth, if we can surrender and allow it to work on us.
We don't have to wait for an injury or death as there is already plenty of unprocessed grief within most of us. Choosing to intentionally and regularly dip into our well of grief requires some courage but can be a softer, more gentler approach that prepares and primes the emotional and nervous system for the next inevitable loss or heartbreak.
Those who have experienced a lot of loss, trauma, or hardship know that grief has a way of building us from the inside out. It widens us, carving us like a wooden bowl, increasing our capacity to be with and hold more of life, both the sorrows and the joy. In fact, the more we allow ourselves to go into our grief and empty out the heaviness we carry, the more space we have for the joys, wonder, and immense beauty the world has to offer us. Life becomes fresh, wondrous, and precious once again.
Grief doesn't destroy us. If we are open, it can be a revelatory process that shows us who we are and what we value. It clears the decks of all distractions and illusions to perhaps begin to build a new life rooted in what is real and what matters most. This is grief’s soulful invitation.
Allowing ourselves to feel the depths of our pain also connects us to our humanity, to what makes us human. It is a common thread we all share. Feeling our own pain enables us to more gracefully be with the pain of others, because we know what it's like. We've been there. Grief makes us better, more compassionate humans.
Grief is also just good emotional hygiene. As our world becomes more tumultuous, we are going to need all the emotional tools we can get. Grief has proven over and over to be one of my most trusted touchstones for remaining sane, open-hearted and present.
A Heartfelt Invitation
I help people gently begin to touch their grief and form a new healthy relationship to it through ritual. In the old ways of healing, I take people into private, beautiful places in nature and in collaboration with the creeks, land, trees, birds, ancestors, and their higher power, I guide people on a 3 hour journey into the fertile soil of their grief. The process is transformative and forever changes the person's understanding and relationship to their grief and self. Grief transforms from a hardened, congealed, un-metabolized mass in their bellies to a helpful life companion and ally. I invite you to this life changing experience.
In these times, may you be held in the ways you need.
May your grief keep you grounded, humble and compassionate.
May your gratitude keep you trusting, feeling connected and your heart open.
If you'd like to read more about my grief work, click here or feel free to message me directly with questions. You can read a detailed client testimonial here.