It's palpable, we are entering a period of collective grief.
Grief is complex and many-layered and has as many faces as there are humans. This is my current story of grief, and an invitation for you.
Last week we got the news here in Sonoma county that all of the state, national parks, trails and beaches would be closed because people had been flocking there as a respite from the Corona virus quarantine. People were photographed holding hands, standing close to each other and generally not abiding by the 6 ft distancing rule. So, the authorities that be shut it down. Up until that point, I had been feeling a little anxious but pretty removed from the whole thing. That order brought it all home for me. I collapsed in bed and spent the entire day in grief for the loss of something that had been so precious to me. Nature is my sanctuary. It's where I go to return to myself over and over. It's how I cope with modern life.
When the Corona virus hit, I knew I would be ok as long as I had access to the places that remind me that everything is ok. The world outside may be spinning, but in the forest, the plants, insects, mushrooms, birds and animals are all engaging in their annual rites of Spring. Regardless of what is happening in the human world, nature continues as it always has. It is my life-affirming touchstone, reminding me how to live, to honor life's cycles, and how to keep returning to my truest self, and to what really matters. Nature is my source of peace, solace, comfort, connection, clarity and guidance from Spirit. So, when I read that the trails, beaches and even small local groves and parks that I frequent were suddenly closed, I was crushed. It felt as though I lost a piece of Home.
For those who have been following my posts for awhile know I've been on a quest for Home and belonging my entire life. Moving to the Redwoods was a big piece of finding Home, finding myself again. Like many of you who are feeling the loss of the lives you had before the virus, I too am in grief over the loss of something meaningful to me. And yet, I know from experiencing it for prolonged periods, that grief always has something to teach us, IF we surrender to it. And so, I have surrendered to it, again.
In 2017 I had 3 traumatic events happen in my life that resulted in PTSD. By the end of it, I was a shell of my former self and spent a good portion of the next 6 months in bed. During that time I discovered Francis Weller's book The Wild Edge of Sorrow. I can't imagine a more perfect gift during that time. A whole new, rich experience of grief emerged for me through reading that book. Later, I tapped into the work of Malidoma and Sobonfu Some and others who deeply understood the complex and beautiful terrain of grief. Through their teachings and my own healing journey, a piece of my calling fell into place. I started leading group grief rituals and then offering them individually for people experiencing all forms of loss. I also led a 4 month online women's circle called Grief as a Gateway which was a transformative journey for myself and the other women who participated. I have since learned the transformative power and great teacher that grief is.
May this global trauma call us Home again, back to our truest selves, to each other and in right relationship with our living earth.
"It was through the dark waters of grief that I came to touch my unlived life... There is some strange intimacy between grief and aliveness, some sacred exchange between what seems unbearable and what is most exquisitely alive. Through this, I have come to have a lasting faith in grief." - Francis Weller